Baby Booming

Yesterday afternoon, some friends chatted with me on MSN. Wanda told me that her unborn baby girl is getting along well. We expect to see Chole in coming January. Then Ardy told me about his friend having a baby as well. After a little while, he told me that another friend of his is getting a male-female twins! And Tommy is having one coming too! Gee. Is it another stage of baby booming?

Then their common question to me is when is mine coming. My answer is simple. Never!

Do I like children? Very indeed. But it doesn't pass my policy of making decision between 2 people. It is simply a multiplication of 1 (Yes) and 0 (No):

1 x 1 = 1
1 x 0 = 0
0 x 0 = 0

This applies to decision involving 2 people. Say, if I want to go out and play, but you don't. Then we don't. No need to argue. And I don't like changing someone's mind, especially in some important decision. If you don't like it, you will never like it.

But this is probably a decision my parents would not like to know. I still remember what my moms and grandma told me before. Thing will change itself as the child is born. The mentality will change, and the behaviour will change. Just like Wanda who used to dislike children. Now, she loves it. They told me that there is no need to think too much, which I totally agree. The more you think, the more worries you get and the less you want to have one.

At one point, I tried to change myself, as it seemed that there was a chance for me to change 0 to 1. I want to show her that I could bare the responsibility. But a couple of weeks later, I was counter-convinced that I'd rather to be a kidult for the rest of my life. To certain extend, I think it is true. I may never be able to grow up. But on the other hand, I guess I am just very lost now, and don't know where I should go.

Anyway, after that attempt, I think it makes me a even worse kidult than before. HA!

~ Lindberg