30mething Crisis?

I read this from Mingpao this morning:

【明報網站】今日是世界防止自殺日，在本港，生命熱線指今年四月至八月收到的自殺求助個案，較去年增加兩成多。
預防自殺的生命熱線表示，今年由四月到八月，他們收到逾萬宗求助個案，較去年同期增加兩成三，其中四分一人表示想自殺，求助者以30至40歲最多，佔四分一，男性略多於女性，四成半個案是受情緒困擾。自殺第二最多的年齡組別為19至30歲人士。

I am not surprised that most of the help requests are from 30methings. Being one of them, I also find this a very confusing period of time. And the report is only talking about asking for help. 30至40歲 are mature enough to think, and ask for help...

When you are before 30, you're still young. You think about opportunities. You learn from mistakes. You enjoy your time with the people around you. But after 30, if you think your life is screwed, you'd also think that it's difficult to return. Your career is going nowhere. You are hunger for recognition. Your friends are having their own family, and you get isolated. You're stuck. I don't know what if you get passed 40, as I still have many years to go before that.  But I guess after that, it's pretty much fixed. And you would probably be scared of dying than killing yourself.

Why would people choose to end their lives? I think part of this is due to the mentality in the TV games, which grow up with us in these years. If I am stuck in the game, I can always quit. No more worries. It's a clean exit. But what does that exit leads to? If you believe in God, you know it leads to nowhere but down under. But of course, if you believe in God, you won't be thinking about suicide in the first place.

Maybe you think the eternal pain in hell cannot match the trouble you have got now. I guess I won't challenge you on that. If it's eternal, it's nothing to worry about. But let's face it. Eternal means no choice. If you have a choice now, why make the silly one? Difficult doesn't mean impossible.

If you consider death as something like shutting the game off forever, it's an even worse decision. It's not like your PS2 at home that you can turn it back on when you feel happy to play again. And if you think you would never get interested again, are you really THAT sure?

I guess it's also hard to convince someone living for the livings. If they're selfish enough to think about ending their lives, they don't really care about the others. But in the rest of the report: 

【明報網站】香港大學防止自殺研究中心公布本地第一項有關自殺者家屬的研究，結果顯示，大部份自殺者家屬在家人自殺後情緒大受困擾，遺屬自殺率偏高，研究中心呼籲社會大眾共同關注這個問題。
港大防止自殺研究中心的報告指出，雖然香港人的自殺率有輕微下降趨勢，但自殺者遺屬的自殺率偏高，較一般人高出一至三倍，情況令人關注。

Now, second thought? 

I also feel that life is not that great for myself from time to time. Some experience is really bad. And I got confused as well. Maybe I just don't remember about 知足:

我無論在甚麼景況、都可以知足、這是我已經學會了。我知道怎樣處卑賤、也知道怎樣處豐富、或飽足、或饑餓、或有餘、或缺乏、隨事隨在、我都得了祕訣。我靠著那加給我力量的、凡事都能作。 - 腓立比書4：11－13

I guess I am not quite there yet. Knowing and exercising is 2 different things. Ha! But what I think is life is different for everyone. Somtimes, life does suck. It really depends on how you view it. But one thing for sure is living is good.