膚淺 * 創作

I like to write. But I don't like to read. From time to time, I get very stuck at my creation. Is it because I am too shallow?

I don't like to read. It is because I think reading someone's work will affect my own creation. Same reason why people who want to gain positive energy should stay away from newspaper. I read that from a salesman handbook. But I don't understand how a salesman not knowing anything happening around could do well with the customer.

Anyway, not limiting to writing, I find it the same for any creation. See less, create more. With such a piece of mind, I do have a few neat ideas. Some turned my company around. Some were never carried out, but proven to be working by the others. Some are under development, which I think should work if I put enough effort in it. But even so, I still find myself very stuck and being shallow from time to time. Sometimes I even found the things in my head silly or naive. It's as even I haven't grown up for all these years. 

Back in F.5, we had a wonderful Chinese language teacher. But it seems that only me believe so. Without him, I couldn't pass my HKCEE Chinese language subject. He didn't really teach us how to study, but to appreciate every piece of story. Then in F.6, we had another great English language teacher. That's when I started to write. I don't remember how much time I spent on writing that science fiction of mine. I just remember sitting in front of my PC using Word Star typing and typing.

After writing over 100 pages, somehow I got slower and slower. I passed the unfinished piece onto my teacher for comment. He gave me a smile. And asked me to work harder.

Many years later, I watch this movie, 耳をすませば, in Chinese 夢幻街少女. I see myself in that girl. Because of the influence of the others, we want to test our ability. We want to show people that we can achieve something as well. However, limited by the things we experience and know, there is no juice in our story. That's why my progress got slower and slower. And finally, it's stuck.

When I look at my unfinished work again, I found myself impossible to continue that story, even with the things I see all these years. Part of it is due to some silly things in the story. But it's also because I lose the vision of a 18 year old. It wouldn't be the same story if I continue now. And shame to say, my English was much better before.

And I read a lot more now. But I still don't like it. Ha!  Every once in a while, I still get stuck in my thinking. And when I do, I like to start reading again. Nothing specific, as I am not looking for answers from those books. Just like the reason why I like seeing the photos taken by the others. It's as if seeing the world from different eyes. It is not telling you what you should see, or what you see is right or wrong. But when you look at the world again with your own eyes, the perspective will not be the same as before.