寂寞

I was chatting with my JA student last night. I find that the way they teach the students now is very much different from what we used to be. I don't know enough to tell the real difference. But I see some techniques we used in training at work nowsaday to inspire creativity is being used in the school, while we were stuffed with facts and information back in those days. She told me that she need to write an essay on 寂寞, in Chinese of course. I wonder what I can do the same on English. Probably quite an analytical one with my "style". Let me try...

Once upon a time, there was a young prince in a country. He enjoyed spending time with himself alone. On sunny days, he would wander in the garden doing his "own" matters alone. No one really knows what he did, as he didn't like interact with people. One day, a fairy visited this young prince.

"Who are you?" The Prince asked.

"I am a fairy. My name is Loneliness. Do you feel lonely?"

"Nope. I enjoy myself being alone."

"But loneliness is different from being alone. Do you dare to take my challenge?"

"Why not? I don't care."

The fairy then disappeared. A moment later, the prince burst into tears.

Loneliness is more than being alone. One can enjoy the time very much being alone. In fact, most people want to get some moment in their lives being left alone. But no one can really live by oneself. Afterall, we are clonal animals. We depend on each other for living, both physiologyically and psychologically. Especially when the basic needs for living is well covered, one would start to look for self esteem, a sense of recognition.

The prince cried because he did care. It all began from a sense of insecurity. The sense of insecurity builds loneliness. When Tom Hanks was left alone on the island in the movie, Cast Away, he satisfied his basic needs with foods ans shelter first. But when those get satisfied, he needed Wilson (the volley ball) to accompany him. Company keeps one secured.

Even if you have company, or in another word, you're not alone, it doesn't necessarily mean you could not be lonely. Isolation could caused by something other than physical. Difference in perception and mistrust. Fear of negative evaluation and feeling of punishing. Altogether, stress builds anger. Suppressing anger builds more stress. And that is loneliness.

After a while, another fairy appeared in front of the prince.

"Why are you crying?" The fairy asked.

"I feel lonely."

"You need the others, as much as the others need you. Give and take come in pair. When you know that you are not alone, you won't feel lonely any more."

"Who are you?" The prince asked.

"My name? They call me Friend."
~ Lindberg