Communication Problem with IM

I have been chatting with my JA partner on Google Chat in the past few weeks. The more I chat, the more I find problem with IM, especially when doing discussion. With casual chatting, no problem. I find it acceptable even for passing knowledge. But when it comes to discussion, 火都黎埋. When you think about it, it's just a different in perception. And I can only have a good laugh about it after the argument.

We had a game with the JA class about communication and organization. We gave them a piece of drawing with some shapes on it. They had to describe the drawing to someone who could not see and that somone had to draw that picture out. One thing I remember very clearly. One of the girls told them draw a hexagon in the middle of the paper. Hexagon? It was actually a star shape with 6 edges. The difference in perception.

I find the same problem when discussing with IM. Unlike casual chat, in a discussion, you write and read at the same time. But as you write, your own perception actually controls how you read. In addition to the prior believe, you expect the counterpart to think the way as you do. Then it is in fact not a discussion. It's just a monolog with oneself. Sigh...

Can some techniques help? Maybe. Six hat thinking? Maybe.. Type slower. Maybe... "I am over. Your turn!" Maybe.... Don't type at all. Very likely!

Face to face conversation reduces this problem by adding the facial expression. Also, with verbal conversation, the pauses will help the parties to stop and think about what is said or listened. One communication technque which I encourage my staff to use (with me) is back tracking. The one who speaks rarely listens to what he really says. So, it's good to have the listener repeat exactly what the speaker just said. In that case, the speaker can listen to his own speaking, and do clarification where necessary. In IM, you just never bother to re-type what the other said, even if it is just copy and paste.

Another technique which I find useful is pacing. It's about the bringing your level to match the audience. Level in the sense of education, voice, tone, language, choice of wordings, etc.. If the counterpart raises up the voice, you need to do the same to get heard. This again could not be done in IM. I guess you can. HEY, CAN YOU HEAR ME?!

Anyway, I find communication really an interesting thing. A difference in perception, or a change in delivery channel makes the whole experience different. But then one should never get afraid of doing so. If you learn from mistake, you will learn a lot about and from people around you.


~ Lindberg